Southern Women
Southern women know their summer weather report: Humidity, Humidity, Humidity.
Southern women know everybody's first name: Honey, Darlin', Shugah.
Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts: Fried Green Tomatoes, Driving Miss Daisy, Steel Magnolias, Gone With The Wind.
Southern women know their elegant gentlemen: Men in uniform, men in tuxedos, Rhett Butler.
Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins: Having bad hair and nails, having bad manners, cooking bad food.
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line,"... we talk to everybody!
In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.
